Weekly nugget

 The weekly Nugget 

By Laura Munk, Assisted by Annie Munk 

 

 

 

*This is based on true fact, though it is extremely exaggerated. Please do not try this at home. Bad things will happen. 

National butter Emergency 

Laura Munk, an eleven-year-old human being, made a tragic mistake earlier this morning. She put too much butter in a Cup, not knowing that it would explode in the Microwave. This bomb went off, scaring citizens all over the house. Unnaturally radioactive butter leaked everywhere. officials say that the microwave will not be open for what may be days on end until the radioactivity has worn off. No one is sure whether this was just an honest mistake or some other nationality planted microscopic grenades into the butter. people are currently testing the remains but no one is sure whether the whether the microscopic grenades (If existent) will be visible or not. According to doctor Bill McGrease, “currently the butter is being tested, although we don't know yet we if we will even find the answers in the remains. it is possible that the micro grenades exploded and when they did the dissolved and we won't be able to find traces. Unnatural amounts of iron have been found in the butter so it is possible that it was that the explosion planned, although we don't know if it was planned or was a mistake." the people who are studying are proving it difficult, since the person who made the butter threw it into the sink before Louisa munk, her sister, could eat it. according to Laura munk, “I was unaware that it was different. It just looks like regular butter.”  

Rare and elusive beast captured 

Just this week, the Munk household located and captured the wild beast called Margorita Annoyinga, aka the Marbit. According to Joey Jackrabbit, a professional monster hunter, “I have always dreamed of this day. For the past 40 years I have combed the Munk forest for this creature and finally, me and my team of scientists have captured it.” Scientists report that the animal is now being held in a crib, awaiting transportation to a kitchen where it will be carefully studied. It’s official caretaker, Goo E. Slime, happily shares his findings about this animal, saying,” We have collected info and after just a few days we have found that not only does the animal thrive of off virtually no sleep, it will starve itself as opposed to eating food it dislikes. For now, we feed it a diet of cheerios, bananas, cheese sticks, blue berries, and scrambled eggs.” Many scientists are eager to hear about the research that comes from this strange animal. 

Young artist takes to the skies 

From the Munk house, a newbie artist has become renowned. Up until recently, Louisa Munk had been overlooked and considered a “little kid.” But about six months after starting kindergarten, Louisa, or “Lou” as the locals call her, has earned her status as an older, more mature(ish) person. Her older sister, Annie Munk, has been quoted saying,” Lou has become a magnificent young artist over the course if the past week or so. She can create stellar self-portraits and enjoys drawing cats, dogs, and birds. Her ideas are so amazing, that in order to keep potential copiers away she uses a unique form of protection. She will “apply” a terrible, stinking perfume to herself that not even the stuffiest noses won’t reel at.” The other two sisters agree that her smell is new to humanity and is possibly worst then a “skunk corpse left in an outhouse for a week in the summer”.